“I thought he was safe but I had no idea what he was exposed to right under my nose.”
By Anna Collard, SVP Content Strategy and Evangelist, KnowBe4 Africa & Kate Farina, Founder BeInTouch and SFC Working Group member
Recently, I spoke with Jenna (not her real name), a mother of two boys, ages 12 and 9. Sitting across from me, she looked visibly distressed as she recounted a shocking discovery that no parent should ever have to face. Jenna had stumbled upon the browsing history on her older son’s tablet and found disturbing evidence: he had accessed violent pornographic content, including child pornography. The experience was so jarring that both she and her son are now undergoing counseling to process the trauma. The link to this content, Jenna explained, was shared in a WhatsApp group – one that her son and thousands of other kids in the Western Cape belong to. While Jenna considers herself a vigilant parent, she’d recently disabled parental controls, feeling overwhelmed by the settings and trusting in her son’s good judgment. “I thought he was safe,” she said, “but I had no idea what he could be exposed to right under my nose.” Jenna’s experience serves as a stark reminder of how quickly kids can be exposed to damaging content online, often when they – and their parents – are least prepared.
With South African children spending more time online than ever, unsupervised access to smartphones and tablets presents increasingly complex risks. Studies like UNICEF’s SA Kids Online or the statistics gathered from Grade 4 to 11 South African learners by Be In Touch reveal a troubling reality: more than 95% of South African children grade 4 to 11, have regular, unfiltered internet access, with minimal parental supervision in many cases. This has led to significant, age-inappropriate exposures, from cyberbullying to interactions with strangers. Children experience disturbing and sometimes shocking content on supposedly child-friendly platforms; they receive unwanted contact from strangers, including scammers, sextortionists, drug-dealers or predators; they experience anguish about the cyberbullying torment they routinely experience online; and most worryingly, they often don’t know what to do or are afraid to speak up or seek support when bad things happen to them online.
BeInTouch Digital Wellbeing Data: Grade 4 to Grade 11 learners, 2021
According to the survey on digital wellbeing by BeInTouch, 62% of learners grade 4 to 11, own a phone or a tablet by age 10, 83% have a social media account by the time they are 12. 65% use their devices at night, 77% have no parental controls or filters enabled, 67% have been cyber bullied or contacted by a stranger on social media and 80% said they get contacted by strangers or bullies at night.
Despite safety measures and age restrictions for many products impacting children, unlike the film industry, social media and big tech remains virtually unregulated. While app stores attempt to enforce a 13-year age limit, this threshold isn’t grounded in child psychology or neuroscience. Instead, it’s driven by U.S. privacy laws, which permits data collection on children aged 13 and up. With young users representing a major profit source for social media platforms, these age limits serve commercial interests rather than child well-being, underscoring social media’s role as a revenue-driven industry. Furthermore, despite being technically able to do so easily, social media firms don’t enforce the 13 year old rule, evidenced for example by a recent study by Cybersafe Kids that shows 82% of kids aged 8-12 have their own social media and IM accounts.
To address this, volunteer-led social movement SFC, formerly Smartphone-Free Childhood South Africa, supports parents to resist the growing pressure to introduce smartphones and social media before kids are ready. Our digital parent pact enables parents to stand together for technology change. Parents who sign up commit voluntarily to delay giving their children smartphones until high school. Once ten parents from the same school and grade sign up online, the pact is “unlocked” for the group, connecting like-minded families and creating a support network within the school community for further change. This avoids the social isolation that can impact children if they are the only one without a smartphone. All 18 000 registered primary schools in South Africa have been loaded onto the pact.
We also need more inclusive parental discussions. Often, fathers and grandparents—frequently targeted by algorithms and seasonal promotions—may purchase technology without understanding its potential harms. As the primary caregivers responsible for monitoring tech use, mothers are frequently left to manage screen time and online interactions alone, even though they may not have adequate support or resources. Inviting fathers and grandparents into these conversations is essential for fostering a balanced approach to online safety and educating children on responsible technology use.
Beyond the psychological and social risks, unsupervised internet access for children can also expose families to significant cybersecurity threats. Children, often unaware of the dangers lurking online, can inadvertently click on malicious links, download harmful software, or fall for cybercriminals, posing as friends or influencers. This can lead to them falling victim to financial sextortionists, groomers or result in broader security breaches, such as unauthorized transactions, identity theft and impersonation or even the hijacking of smart home devices like cameras or voice assistants. For example, phishing links or malware shared in WhatsApp groups—similar to the one Jenna’s son was part of—could enable attackers to compromise the mobile device.
Empowering Families: Strategies for safer digital habits
To mitigate such risks, it’s critical for parents to combine internet safety measures with basic cybersecurity practices, such as
● enabling parental controls,
● updating device software regularly,
● and educating children on the importance of their digital privacy,
● password best practices and
● how to recognize and avoid suspicious activity and online risks
● Foster digital mindfulness and critical thinking
By taking these steps, families can safeguard not only their children’s emotional well-being but also their digital security and ensure responsible use of technology.
Remember that risks don’t necessarily equate to harm if one is aware of them and if they are managed adequately. You wouldn’t give your 11-year-old keys to a car, it’s the same online, as parents, we have to first train and assign safety precautions before letting our kids freely navigate digital spaces without supervision. Find out how cultivating digital mindfulness and critical thinking can help provide a safer online space.
This combined effort of community-driven action and active, informed parenting can help secure safer online experiences for South Africa’s youth, supporting them in developing healthier relationships with technology. To learn more about SFC-SA’s parent-led initiative and to sign the pact to delay smartphones, visit SFC-SA.