When it comes to wedding planning, few things can cause more stress for the bride-to-be than managing a group of bridesmaids who may not know – or even particularly like – each other. While some movies might paint bridesmaids as a tight-knit group of lifelong best friends, the reality is often different. The group may well be a mix of childhood friends, sisters, cousins, work colleagues, and even future in-laws. With different personalities, expectations, and past histories, tensions can arise leading to an unpredictable dynamic that requires careful navigation.
In fact, studies suggest that bridal party conflicts are among the top causes of wedding stress. According to a survey by Zola, 43% of brides experience tension with their bridesmaids. This tension can stem from financial disagreements or unspoken expectations. Then of course, bridesmaids can clash, forming cliques in the group, disagreeing over dresses and bachelorette plans, and disputing responsibilities – often forcing the bride to play mediator.
The remedy? Some pre-wedding bonding away from it all. But how do you plan a getaway that works for everyone? Onwaba Gonyora, Director at Brahman Hills, nestled in the Blue Crane Nature Reserve in the picturesque KZN Midlands, believes the key is a low-pressure setting where natural connections can form. “The best bride tribe retreats aren’t just about bringing everyone together – they focus on creating an environment that promotes relaxation and reduces stress, allowing relationships to grow organically,” she says. “You want people to leave feeling refreshed, not like they just attended a corporate team-building event.”
Gonyora shares some tips to help create a smooth and enjoyable shared experience:
1. Get Everyone Involved from the Start
Nothing causes more tension than feeling left out. Instead of dictating plans, involve your bridesmaids in the decision-making. Create a WhatsApp poll, ask about preferences, and get input on location and activities. This ensures buy-in from everyone and avoids unnecessary complaints later.
2. Choose a Setting That Encourages Bonding
The location matters more than you think – it’s not just about great accommodation. Avoid busy locations where distractions take over, leaving people to miss meaningful interactions. The right retreat should have enough activities to cater to different interests yet still create space for relaxation and natural conversations. A setting with a mix of nature, quiet spots, and intimate spaces, like a jacuzzi or a firepit for casual chats, can make all the difference. After all, the best memories sometimes come from unplanned moments – the shared laughter in the sauna, the deep conversation over cocktails, or the inside jokes that form when people are truly relaxed.
3. Plan Activities for Different Personalities
One of the biggest mistakes is overloading the itinerary. Remember, this isn’t a boot camp; it’s a retreat. Not everyone loves a deep-tissue massage, and not everyone enjoys a 10km hike. The best bride tribe retreats include a mix of joint activities to suit all personalities.
• For those who love pampering: A spa with massages, facials, or a relaxing soak with bubbly.
• For the active crew: Nature walks, easy hikes, or a park run for those looking to stay active.
• For foodies: Wine or gin tastings, a styled picnic, or an intimate private dining experience for bonding and creating shared memories.
Brahman Hills, for example, offers magnificent award-winning gardens, a 3km forest hike, an award-winning spa with breathtaking views, and outstanding cuisine to savour and linger over. So…something for everyone.
4. Capture the Moments
Capturing moments throughout the retreat can significantly strengthen the bond between the bride tribe. Shared photos and videos create a sense of unity and allow everyone to relive the fun and connection after the retreat is over. Great to share some of those ‘candid” shots at the Bachelorette too for some added fun…
“A well-planned bride tribe retreat with the right mix of relaxation and quality time, can transform ‘bridesmaid-zillas’ into a supportive team, rather than just a collection of people in matching dresses,” says Gonyora. “By fostering genuine bonds among the women you’ve chosen to stand by your side, you set the foundation for enjoying one of the happiest times of your life,” she concludes.
For more information about Brahman Hills, please visit https://www.brahmanhills.co.za