Let’s all take a second to imagine that we’re in a relationship and there’s not an ounce of laughter between you and your other half. Sounds absolutely awful, doesn’t it? It’s basically the fundamental thing that the majority of people look for in a potential new love interest. I would argue that it comes before looks or what the person does for a living. Which is why a study about poking fun at one another makes a helluva lotta sense to us.
But, as with most things, there’s a line. It’s one thing laughing at the new shirt they just bought, but another thing completely if you’re just throwing abuse at them.
According to Joyscribe, Jeffrey Hall from the University of Kansas has conducted 39 studiesinvolving over 15,000 people over the course of 30 years.
One of his findings was that humour was (and probably still is) a critical part of building a successful relationship. If you’re reading this and can’t remember the last time you had a laugh with your boyfriend/girlfriend then alarm bells should be ringing – sorry not sorry.
In a statement, Hall explained: “People say they want a sense of humour in a mate, but that’s a broad concept. That people think you are funny or you can make a joke out of anything is not strongly related to relationship satisfaction.
“What is strongly related to relationship satisfaction is the humour that couples create together.
“Say you and your partner share a quirky sense of humour, but romantic comedies or sit-coms do nothing for either of you… It’s not that any style or a sense of humour is any better or worse.
“What matters is that you both see quirky humour as hysterical. If you share a sense of what’s funny, it affirms you and affirms your relationship through laughter.
“Playfulness between romantic partners is a crucial component in bonding and establishing relational security. Particularly shared laughter, is an important indicator of romantic attraction between potential mates.”
But, going back to the fact that there’s a line. Hall explained: “Having an aggressive sense of humour is a bad sign for the relationship in general, but it is worse if the style of humour is used in the relationship. If you think that your partner tells mean-spirited jokes, then it’s likely you’ve seen that firsthand in your relationship.”
Hope this article didn’t become some sort of relationship-wrecker… if it did, you probably needed it, NGL.
Credit: Rebecca Shepherd