In reality , we can’t avoid rejection, it comes in many forms .
Some experience it from birth , some at work , some at school and some at church. There’s nothing you can do to not go through it and there’s nothing your can’t do to avoid it.
Being your ultimate best invites rejector’s as well as being your ultimate worst.
How do you then reject what’s unavoidable?
1. Do not embrace it.
Whenever you feel someone is rejecting you , do not suck up to them rather reject their rejection . I remember growing in my local church , I experienced so much rejection to a point that when I was in tertiary, I would look at my church mates rushing to go home after exams especially before Friday since they didn’t want to miss their local church youth service and I would be so broken remembering how much our local church rejected us. Years later I learnt to reject their rejection which also allowed an environment of forgiveness.
Embracing rejection hinders one to reach their space of peace and forgiveness. When someone rejects you , reject their rejection.
Not long ago , I served in a church department with a lady who really taught me how to reject rejection. I remember this other time someone was rejecting her and she stood up for herself and told the person on the face that she will never subject herself to her rejection. I learnt a lot from her and once in a while I do that and it heals trust me.
2. Learn to walk away
Walking away is very costly . It is easier to walk away from people who aren’t part of your community but when it is people you live with e.g. Family and close friends , walking away costs a huge sacrifice. This is a case where you need to learn to love from a distance.
Don’t we wanna be accepted ? It hurts indeed to feel sidelined but is it worth the feeling of rejection? Not at all .
3. Speak up
Sometimes we subject our feelings to imprisonment in the Name of thinking we are being born again perfectly. There are things you won’t be able to let go until you let the person who did them to you know how they made you feel. If it calls you write a letter or you engage with the person on a face to face , please be brave and take the step. Some are drowning in depression because they are carrying a baggage instead of letting it all out to the baggage owner. Learn to speak up.
Some do not speak up because they are afraid to be rejected yet are already rejected. Why fear what you are already carrying ? Speaking out is rejecting rejection.
4. Understand your worth
At some point I worked on a huge project which I felt I was under appreciated. I thought the work I did was of a standard delivery until I decided to leave the project only to realize my experience and ability in other environments see me is being over experienced and of high value . I learnt that holding on to a place that doesn’t value you limits your view of the value you are. I had to go in order to see my worth.
What I am trying to say is that , when you find yourself in a place where you feel worthless , leave .
5. Be busy
Being busy and developing yourself makes you feel good and that’s how you want to feel right …
You do not want to be a victim and a spectator of people who are busy with their lives and you’re busy playing a pity party. Sometimes life can be stagnant but when you are at least busy with something even if it’s some one day certificate, it makes you feel better . It creates some sense of achievement and hope. When you feel nothing is working out , what you are working on enables you to feel at ease that it will activate other elements in your life that have not been activated.
In conclusion
Do not suck up to rejection rather reject it…
I have done it and it works wonders . ~ Nolizwi Mbobo